Happy A-F Report Card Eve!
‘Twas the night before the release of the A-F Report Cards and all through the state,
Not a teacher was happy, no matter the fate.
The grades were embargoed, and answers were rare;
The anticipation was too much to bear.
Not school boards nor teachers nor parents could know
What strange calculations these papers would show.
And up at the big state department of ed,
Some feelings were hurt over words that were said.
“These whiners,” said some, “have secrets to hide,”
While others, it seemed, got lost in their pride.
Determined, the faithful prepared the release,
Hopeful to get just a minute of peace.
But superintendents across this great land
Together determined to take one more stand.
They’d come as a pack and they’d face the State Board
Who soon would lament this virulent hoard,
On Ballard! On Burden! On Goin and Springer!
Bring forth all your best to put teeth to the ringer.
Speak clear and concise, determined and terse,
For what bad could happen? What could be worse?
Will board members listen? Will anyone care?
Will nothing but tape recorders be there?
Unfazed by detractors the state will persist
No matter the merit of those who insist
This system is false, confusing, and flawed.
The show will continue, with many appalled.
To Crutcho they’ll go, and deliver the news
Of grades convoluted, so as to confuse.
So no one can say, “the battle is lost,”
They’ll stay to the course, no matter the cost.
And off in the distance the teachers will teach,
And children will learn wherever they reach.
So cast your aspersions. Prance and proclaim
That this grading system is something but lame,
For many know better, and few have been snowed.
Your motives transparent, your patronage owed,
And now that your triumph at last is assured,
You hope the resistance at last is deferred.
But this much is certain; this much is true.
Professional educators know more than you.
May sleep find us well, for tomorrow we fight;
Happy report cards to all, and to all, what a blight!
with MASSIVE apologies to Clement C. Moore